184

I know, I know. You thought I fell off the face of the earth. I am sorry, sorry, sorry. I didn't. I am still here and still going strong. Well, pretty strong. I have a JC weigh in tomorrow, but got on my scale in my bathroom -- yikes! --- this morning. I was a dead-on 184. Assuming I have a good day today, that puts me at about 185.5 tomorrow at JC. Woot, woot!!!

My summer has been busy, busy, busy! I am STILL NOT working out regularly, and I need to do that if I want the weight to peel off more quickly. But for just a little yet, I'll keep up with what I'm doing. I'll deal with flabby underarms and jiggly thighs another day. For today, I leave you with a great little prayer my mom sent me today.

Lord, my soul is ripped with riot
incited by my wicked diet.

"We Are What We Eat," said a wise old man!
Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can.
To rise on Judgment Day, it's plain!
With my present weight, I'll need a crane.

So grant me strength, that I may not fall
into the clutches of cholesterol.
May my flesh with carrot-curls be dated,
that my soul may be poly unsaturated.

And show me the light, that I may bear witness
to the President's Council on Physical Fitness.
And at oleo margarine I'll never mutter,
for the road to Hell is spread with butter.

And cream is cursed; and cake is awful;
and Satan is hiding in every waffle.
Mephistopheles lurks in provolone;
the Devil is in each slice of baloney.

Beelzebub is a chocolate drop,
and Lucifer is a lollipop.
Give me this day my daily slice
Cut it thin and toast it twice.

I beg upon my dimpled knees,
deliver me from jujube's.
And when my days of trial are done,
and my war with malted milk is won.

Let me stand at the Heavenly gate,
In a shining robe, Lord – wearing size 8..
I can do it Lord, if you'll show to me,
the virtues of lettuce and celery.

Teach me the evil of mayonnaise,
and of pasta a la Milanese...
and crisp-fried chicken from the South.
Lord, if you love me, shut my mouth. Amen

Have a fantastic weekend my friends! God Bless!

191.2

I am pretty sure you can guess my mood today. I am so incredibly thrilled to be on what my body bug calls a "downward trend." It's been a crazy month, and I am happy to have held on for the ride and kept right on losing.

In case you didn't hear, Consumer Reports recently rated all of the top weight loss programs recently. Jenny Craig came out as number one. Since I am on the program, I am obviously not surprised. I have lost 20 pounds on it. I love it. And I tell everyone about it. I know it's not something everyone wants to try, and I know not everyone can afford it. But you don't have to buy their food. In fact, I don't believe you even have to sign up with Jenny Craig. To me, it's the accountability. That's what keeps me on the program. Having to get on that scale every week and show someone whether I have stayed on track is exactly what keeps me on track. So let me tell you, even if you aren't doing JC, you CAN find someone to weigh in with every week. You can find a "diet buddy" to work with and motivate you. It really helps if it's someone who wants to lose weight themselves. I know for certain that seeing my sister drop weight week after week is a TRUE motivator for me. I want to keep up.

I moved into a new house this month, had a holiday weekend, and I've had lots of "special occasion" nights. I have had a few tough days of overeating. But I have stayed pretty firmly committed. I DO NOT want to stay this weight. I am sick to DEATH of the size 16's and anything with a "w" on the end. Sick, sick, sick of it! I want to shop in stores that have size 14 and under and find something that fits me. I want to look and family pictures and not be the one that stands out because of my size. I want to see a picture where one of my thighs isn't the width of the next person's entire frame. This body has got to go!!!!! Enough already.

So in the weeks to come, I am going to stay challenged, stay on the program, stay strong. I can talk myself into anything. It's only my own mind that stops me.

So. There it is today. Another great day. And I hope to have more. And come back and tell you about it. So I'm off and running this morning. Have a fantastic day. God bless!

195.4

That's right, folks. I lost another 4.4 pounds this week. I am beyond thrilled, as I am sure you can imagine. I can't hardly believe it, either. I had hoped to be down to a dead on 198, but almost died when the other number popped up. Yipppeeeee!!!!!!

The ONLY downside to losing so much so quickly is that I am in between jean sizes too. Jeans that I wore a month ago are hanging on me. Jeans that I WANT to wear are just a smidgen out of my range. But it will come, and I know it. I know I'm doing a program that works, I know I am more motivated than I have been in over a year and a 1/2, and I know I will succeed. I am looking ahead to December - and skin, skin, skinny! Yes I am. And I will be.

I have tons to do tonight, so I need to sign off early. I hope to get back on here before the weekend. I want to tell you about where the fat goes. You know, when you "lose it." Where does the fat actually go? Anybody know? Hmmm..... a thought to ponder.

Have a great Monday. Love and blessings ---

The Tools in My Tool Box

Now that's what I'm talkin' about! Whoop-di-doo! I am absolutely thrilled to be out of "twoderville" and into "one-derland." Of course it's never as fast as I'd like it to be, but I am super happy. That's 1/2 pound shy of 15 pounds I have lost since I joined Jenny Craig in March. Yay me!!!!

I remember joining Nutrisystems about 6 or 7 years ago. The meals were shipped to me, and it just felt weird. On top of that, the meals were just mediocre, not great. The food at Jenny Craig is no short of outstanding. Oh sure, there are a couple of meals I haven't cared for, but as a rule I have loved all of it. And the snacks are fantastic. Little cakes, cheddar cheese popcorn, s'mores bars. . . good stuff.

I have considered what will happen when I switch to "real" food. But the truth is, I know what to do. I know what to avoid. I just don't always do that. Nor do I ever seem to want to. But I am learning. I eat out plenty, and have to choose what keeps me close to my calorie intake limit. I eat subway and salads and soups. I avoid heavy carbs like pasta and bread, as well as high fat foods like cheese and deep fried food. I HAVE the tools the make it all work, I just don't always take them out of my big fat tool box. I need to make that a priority and a habit, and stay on it. I have to CHOOSE. Every snack or meal is a choice. I choose the food, and I choose the portion size. My "tools" include my knowledge of the foods and my knowledge of what works for me. I know, for example, I eat at night. I prefer that to eating breakfast. At this point I do both, but my evening food has become the superb JC snack cakes (chocolate, strawberry or lemon).

So, this week I will continue to you choose what is best for success, and continue to pray for the will power, determination and drive to make those good choices. And today, I pray the same for you -- whether that's about food or other matters.

Have a marvelous week folks! Until next time . . .

Plateau

Well here we are again. Honestly, my life is so busy right now I can hardly stay afloat. I have stuck to my program. Easter weekend I had a little wine and a little too much "Easter" -- but overall it was fine. I did a great job. So I am sure you can appreciate my frustration when I went to weigh in today and was down only by .4 pounds. Down yes. But over two weeks? Booooo!!!!!

I stuck to the program. I got exercise. So it must be a plateau. Happens all the time, or so I'm told. To me, it looks like the picture here. I am looking across a vast ocean and can't see the other side, which represents the goals I have set. I am navigating this barge that I call a body toward that goal, and there's no current or wind to help me along. Just me and whatever motor I have inside. Ugghhh!

But, I suppose it could be worse. I could be my sister. She broke her kneecap, so she is laid up in bed. She is starting to get around a little bit, but still needs lots of rest. So how did this happen? She fell down while she was skating laps with me. I forced her to go skating with me, and she wiped out and broke her knee. The UP side is that she loved it, and said she plans to go back as soon as she is healed. I'm glad, or would probably have felt pretty guilty.

So I worked through the anger and frustration of the morning's weigh-in, and I plan to stay tight on the program. I know it works. I know this is a temporary glitch. I just want it to move forward. And the truth it, the wine alone last weekend could have made me bump up and stay there awhile. That always happens when I drink wine. So, I'll be avoiding that for a bit.

So I am very busy making some big life moves here. I'll report as I have time, as I am somewhat overwhelmed at the moment. So please pray for me, and I will pray for you. Until next time, God bless ya'll!

204.4

I am seriously on a roll!!!! What a thrill. Sometimes there are no words to describe what it feels like when you get on the scale and see a really nice drop. And I am quite sure that it's all due to John Paul II. I know, you're asking how that can be. Well I'll tell you.

Pope John Paul II has been one of my personal heroes for almost thirteen years. I have a running list of people I admire, but this man has had more impact on me than I could ever begin to tell you. And I wanted more than anything in the world to meet this man. In fact I prayed for many years that God would work it out that I could meet him. And of course, I really wanted that to be while we were still on earth. So when he passed away at the age of 84 on April 2, 2005, I was genuinely and sincerely devastated. It was like losing a second father.

When I started my weight loss journey, I started a novena to John Paul. A novena is a prayer you say for 9 days. And for nine days in a row I had a little visit with John Paul II. I asked him to ask Jesus to help me stay motivated, to keep exercising, and to see quick results. In particular, I really wanted to see the 190's by Easter.

When I saw the scale results this week and last week, I knew he was doing what I asked. It is now a reality that I could be under 200 by Easter. Granted, it might be on my home scale and not the Jenny Craig scale, but when I started the novena I was thinking that's the scale I would be using anyway. Unbelievable. And then I got a REALLY miraculous surprise. The Catholic Church announced the day of JPII"s annual feast day (the day we celebrate his life on earth and in the church). And guess what???? It's MY BIRTHDAY! I seriously know that it was a little message from him, telling me that he will be watching out for me my whole life, in every way. We are connected by time and space. I'm just going to have a wait a little bit to see him.

So. That's my little inspirational story for today, which is Sunday. A good story if I say so myself. But, I never got around to telling you about the food last week, so I will do that in the next couple of days. Until then, happy meals, happy days and sweet dreams.

H is for Home Run

And that's what I hit at my weigh-in this weekend. A home run! I know the numbers listed here on my blog are what I intended to use, but the truth is, life without a scale is one worth living. I thought it would slow me down, cause me to given in, eat more. I was wrong. The ungodly fear of those numbers at Jenny Craig kept me on track. And since my numbers there have now passed what I was seeing on my home scale, I can just use those. So here's the recap: I started the Jenny Craig program on Wednesday, March 23rd. I weighed in at a whopping 214. A week later I weighed in at 210.4. On Saturday I weighed in at . . . drum roll please . . . 207.4! Whoop dee dooo!!!! Now that's a home run! And this after a beautiful night at the Twins' game at Target Field (where I had salad and 1/2 piece of cheese pizza). I kept the momentum at my black tie dinner on Saturday night, eating all of my salad and asparagus, but only taking a few bites of the steak and salmon.

Yesterday was tougher. I went out to eat with my kids. I ordered a cup of soup and egg salad on whole wheat. But guess what? When I went to check the calories online later, I found out that my little sandwich is almost 500 calories!!!!! Booooo hooooo hoooo! So sad. So I probably ended up eating 1500 calories yesterday, with no exercise since Thursday.

So it was back to work today. I skated 45 minutes -- dragging my sister along to show her how wonderful this exercise is. I'll walk a little later I think, too. Back to the grindstone. But I am good and ready. I want to be out of two-derville and back in one-derland SO bad! I was hoping by Easter, but I am not so sure it will happen.

Anyway, I'll tell you about some of my yummy foods later this week. You might just be a little jealous. Hehehe. Until then, pray for me and I'll pray for you. Have a glorious day!!!

Skating on Thin Ice

What a week I have had! Life is good. First off, I got rid of my scale. Complete withdrawals, but that is better than being irritated and depressed all day.

Also, I found a beautiful ice rink and headed there to skate twice this week. I was missing my skating buddies from the northwest, but loved being back on the ice. And I don't use fancy schmancy girls' skates with a toe pick anymore. Despite the fact that at one time I aspired to be the next Dorothy Hamel, I find that girls' skates are horribly uncomfortable and gave me big, oozing blisters. So I went out and bought a pair of used hockey skates. I love them. They're roomy and comfortable. I can't stop in them, but who cares? I get done what I need to: laps. And laps and laps and laps. I slap on my head phones and nano and off I go. I used to have skating partners, but since they are now in another city, I just sing to myself instead. Too bad for everyone around me . . . haha . . . they get a serenade!

So. Skating and walking. I ended each day with a 2 or 2.5 mile walk. VERY good way to end the day. The only downside is that my little armband doesn't accurately record the calories I burn skating. It says I only burned about 250 calories. But every other source says that even slow skating burns twice that for 50 minutes. So I guess I will have to wait until I weigh in to see how many it really burned. I can do that.

I am a teensy sore and tired today, but in a good way. I have a busy weekend ahead. Minnesota Twins game today, weigh in at Jenny Craig tomorrow, and tomorrow night is a black tie gala for Children's Hospital at the Depot in Minneapolis. Not too worried about my food. They don't usually over-fill the plates at the gala dinners. As for the Twins' game, I can just steer to salad. Not suppose to have meat today, but if it comes down to bad choices, I may eat meat anyway.

So that's the story on this beautiful Friday morning. I will let you know how the JC weigh in goes In the meantime, enjoy the weekend and God Bless.

My Roller Coaster Ride

That's my life. A giant roller coaster. It's up and then down and then up and then down. And sometimes I throw up.

My weigh-in with JC was excellent on Friday. I was down 4.5 pounds. I had a great weekend. I ate well and got in some exercise. And today, my weight was up a pound. But with all of these different numbers and weigh-ins my mind is swimming. I know I brought the confusion to my own doorstep, but that isn't any consolation. Here's what happened: I weighed myself at home two weeks ago. That was the first number. Three days later I weighed in with Jenny. I had on jeans and a sweatshirt. Full, heavy clothes. Another number. Friday I wore sweat pants. Light clothing at JC -- and the scale showed a decline in my weight and my clothes. At home on Friday, I was also down another pound. The scale showed 207.4.

I have no explanation for the rise this morning, except that I had some bread when I went out for dinner and a play last night. I guess I also had a little too much chicken or something. It doesn't really matter. The point is, I have several different numbers going every which way at the same time. I need some consistency. Plus, I am tired of that little machine wreaking havoc on my emotions. So here's my plan. I had one of my children take my scale. I will get on it again next Monday. This is the number I will use to track my weight loss from week to week. I would use the JC number, but theirs is about 3 pounds higher, and who needs that???? Notta me. So no, forget that. Mondays will be my weigh in day. This is really a news flash folks. I am a SCALE JUNKIE, as you well know. It's as addictive as any drug. I am pretty sure I will even go through horrible withdrawals. So I hope I can stick to my guns.

And while I'm off the scale, I hope to kick start my body again. As usual, it is clinging desperately to the poundage I have accumulated. But one thing I know for certain: it cannot and will not hold on to it for good. I will win. It WILL come off if I continue to eat 1200 calories a day. And I will.

So that's my lovely story for today. I am staying positive. And I just keep saying my prayers, asking for help staying motivated and to help speed my results. As always, I will keep you posted on how we go. God Bless you all real good! :)

Satan is Hiding in My Scale

That's what my mother said. The scale is Satan all dressed up in shiny metal and plastic. The scale lulls you into the bathroom, sweetly calls out to you, tempts you with hope and desire, asks you to dance . . . and then WHAM!!! Your spirit is sucked right out through your toes, your hopes dashed and your day destroyed. And for what? Three tiny little digits (and I don't mean toes). But I think she might be right. So, I am avoiding the scale until I weigh in with Jenny tomorrow.

It's an odd feeling to go off and weigh myself on someone else's scale. It's even stranger to be buying prepared food and bringing it home. I know what food works and what doesn't. I know what foods to avoid. I have read all the diet books and blogs and blah, blah, blah that's out there. At this point, reading new information might just be a supernatural event in my life. And I already know that I plan to balance Jenny and my other weight loss methods. So here's the bottom line:

IF THE PROGRAM WORKS, STICK WITH IT.

Some people do Weight Watchers, some Adkins or South Beach, some eat what they want and limit portions, some don't change their eating habits but start exercising. There are a lot of different ways to approach weight loss. And as long as the method is healthy, I say GO FOR IT!

For me, it's all about the calories in and out. 1200 calories a day may seem low, and even dangerous, to some people out there. But it's a necessary number for my body. It works for my body. I'm not starving. Not in the least. And truthfully, experiencing the sensation of hunger is definitely not the worst thing I can to do my body. The sensation of being overstuffed and bloated? That comes with the extra bonus of depression, self-deprecation and loathing. Yeah. Gotta love that. No thank you.

There is a lot of inspiration out there if you want to tap into it. A great many success stories. I want to be one of them. I may not like that I took over a year to get back to this, but I am, in fact, back to this. This weight has got to go! I am keeping both of my chins up and heading to my weigh in tomorrow with great hope. And you will be the first to hear about it. Okay, well maybe not the first, but I will let you know the results. While you are waiting, have a glorious evening. Toodles.

Waiting To See

Chello all! What a busy couple of days this has been! I have stayed on track for a full week. I started blogging again after the start, but I have had so many false starts over the last year or so that I had make sure it was real. And it is. I am back in rare form.

So one week ago, on March 21, was my official "restart" -- motivated in part by my sister's 12 pound loss over the course of a month that included a vacation in AZ. Can you say jealous? Well I can. And I was. And then she told me she called Jenny. As in, Jenny Craig. She joined to make herself accountable. It was a bit pricey, but she thought it was worth it. And then she showed me the little 'extra' they give to their enrollees. It's called BodyMedia. It's a little unit that you wear in an armband on your upper left arm. It tracks the calories you burn, your levels of activity, the time of activity, the efficiency of your sleep and the number of your steps. You sync it online and enter the foods and calories you consume during the course of the day. NOW I was jealous. I wanted one. BAD. And here's the clincher: if I join because of my sis, my cost is 1/2 price. The unit sells retail for $275+, and then you pay a subscription fee. With Jenny, I could have the unit, free subscription, a week's worth of food and accountability for price of the unit. Still super expensive, but I was in.

So off we went to Jenny to get my BodyMedia.... I mean, sign me up. Honestly, I was not interested in the food part of it. I don't want to buy 21 meals and 21 snacks every week. Just give me the little armband thingy and I am fine. Off I go.

And then something interesting happened. I thought it might be good for me to weigh in every week. And then I started to think that since the food for the first week was included, I might try that too. And guess what? The food is really good. It's not Nutrisystems. I have tried that. And there are definitely items I don't like. But there are more that I do. And more than once over the past week I have been starving when I got home, and was thrilled to know that my very low calorie meal was only 4 minutes away. I could get used to that

But I also made one of my Herbalife protein shakes during the week, and realized how much I missed them. YUM! So perhaps I will balance the two, giving in to my need for Jenny Craig Macaroni and Cheese but also indulging in the shakes I love so much. Either way, I am back at 12oo calories.

OH!!!! And my scale ran out of battery. I have rectified that situation, so I'll give you my weight after I get on tomorrow. Busy. Wow, wow, wow. So I'll let you know about my exercise when I come back too.

In the meantime -- notice the email enrollment up in the corner? You can have my blog sent to your email address if you want. Cool beans. God Bless y'all! Sleep tight.

208.8

I know. You thought I died. And there have been days over the last year that it would have been easier to have landed that fate, frankly. But alas! I am alive and still very overweight.

It has been almost a full year since I last logged on. I gained back another 12 pounds after that last post, too. But I have made many changes and I am ready to get moving again. I will tell you that it probably wouldn't have been a fun journey during the time I was absent anyway. During that time I hosted a graduation party, we had our famous 4th of July breakfast on the beach (my fave you know), my kids and I moved 250 miles to a new city . . . the list goes on and on. LOTS of big changes. But I am settled again. Mentally for sure. And I'm ready. I am really ready to get busy. My sister was instrumental in my turn-around, as she too is needing to "get going." Not that she's a fatty. Let's just say that people often think we are twins -- something that never happened when I was 135 pounds. So while we are not doing it together, we are sort of doing it together. You with me? I know you get it.

Anyway, I am going to go back through some of my older posts. I want to know where my motivation came from. What kept me on track? What stopped me dead? I was so driven for months. And then it all came apart, but I have never understood why. I have never understood why I wasn't able to hold it together. So that's my goal. To try and figure it out. I let you know what I know.

So . . . . here we go. I'll be back. :)