199

No, I am not kidding. I am STILL 199 pounds. Oh. My. Goodness. I am so siiiiccckkkk of that number! And on Friday I popped down to 198.6. Then up again. And today . . . today was the annual Easter Family Bake-Off. Yes. The contest in which everyone creates delectable desserts and puts them out to be judged for both presentation and taste.

I didn't have an entry. But there were some dooooozies! Like a giant chocolate cupcake with big, pink, puffy frosting. There was a frozen peanut butter pie with candied bacon (yes, bacon). There was banana cream bars, key lime pie, carrot cookies with cream cheese frosting and raspberry tarts. Marvelous.

And I took one small bite of each. No more. A minuscule amount in order to decide which to vote for and that's it. And my brunch choices were fabulous too. I had an omelet with some fruit and a couple of pieces of bacon. All in all a great day. Until I ate a cheeseburger anyway. Ugh! All day resisting temptation, and I give in when we hit the golden arches. And I don't even LIKE Mickey D's! Dumb.

So I am hoping the damage is minimal tomorrow. I don't want to go up. I have been at this same weight too long, and it's time to go. I'm ready, willing and able to do it. Holiday today was a killer, but I think I'll be okay. I'll let you know tomorrow or the next day. Say a little prayer for me though, okay?

I'm off. I wanted to touch base. Planning to get outside training this week, so I'll keep you tabbed on that too. Take care y'all! I'll try to come back before the end of the week. Sayonara.

Ku-Ku-Kachoo

I don't do well when I'm sick. I am a big baby, and generally complain and complain to anyone who will listen. And it was no different last week.

On Tuesday I sneezed 4 times in a row as I hopped into a friend's car to run some errands. And that was that. Full on head cold, complete with a horrible taste in my mouth. I got the chills, I was congested, I got a headache- it was terrible. I spent the whole day Thursday in bed!

On Friday I forced myself to get up and get moving. Got in a light skate in the morning. Just 20 minutes, but it felt good. Then I had some wonderful women come to visit me for the weekend. One of them had me try a "neti pot." Yes, a neti pot. An extraordinary experience, let me tell you! It's like a teapot. You fill it with warm salt water, and while tipping your head sideways over a sink, you hold the pot to your nostril and pour the water in. It fills up your nose, chokes through the back of your sinuses and comes out the other side of your nose.

Needless to say, I wasn't sure this was going to be terribly effective. In fact, it took some doing initially because my nose was THAT plugged. I sort of gurgled and choked it through. I couldn't breathe and was blowing bubbles with my nose back in to the pot. And then something crazy happened. It worked! It actually worked! Shocker! It drained immediately. I am seriously bowled over by this. And you should all try it. Not kidding! As much as I hate this word, the phrase "booger buster" keeps coming to my mind. lol.

In spite of the killer cold, I managed to make it through the week without doing any damage to my calorie schedule. AND I got through a weekend of good company and good food (and lots of it) without put on any weight. 199 this morning. Actually, I was 198.6 over the weekend, and I was really pumped. But that was apparently a major, major fluke. But that's okay. It's coming and I know it. I worked super hard today with my trainer, then skated for 35 minutes. I am on the tail end of this wicked cold and I'm exhausted, but I know the good numbers are coming.

So hurray for me!!!! Right? Right! I'll keep at it all week. I would like to be at 196 next Monday, but realize I should focus on one pound at a time. One pound at a time. Just the one. I just get anxious. You know me.

So, I am going to relax and hang out tonight. I think I need to work hard at staying healthy, or I will lose track of what I am trying to do. So I will keep you tabbed. Have a spectacular week. It's finally spring! :)

Queen of Mean?

I learned something important this week. I had a horrible weekend of binge eating. I ate anything and everything unhealthy. And as the weekend wore on, my spirits plummeted. By Monday, I was sooooo crabby I didn't want to see or talk to anyone. I was ticked off at every thought that sprang into my head, and couldn't pinpoint a bloody concrete reason. And alas! I had an appointment with my trainer. This wouldn't be good.

So I got there at 1:00. By 1:15 I was running on the treadmill at a 3 incline and a speed of 4.2, crying my eyes out and spewing out the venomous feelings that had built up. My trainer and my friend D were very, very supportive, but I chuckled later at the look of dismay that registered on their faces as I raged on and on. Hah! Good sports! And all the while my trainer is saying "Get it out! This is where you get it out. Work it off and work it out."

25 minutes later we moved on resistance training. By that time I felt both faint and sick. Workin' the thighs, core and arms at the same time. Light headed. Oh. My. Goodness. I didn't get in every exercise she put out there. I had to sit down to keep from passing out. No orange bucket that you could throw up into. But I kept at it, finishing strong with the oblique work. Good for me.

And then she told me something really interesting. She said that there are a LOT of people out there who have a physically emotional reaction to the wrong kind of carbs. Lots of bad carbs (chips, potatoes, bread etc..) can create an emotional firestorm in some people. It causes yo-yo emotions and depression. VERY interesting to say the least. I am going to really, really work at avoiding bad carbs, but I am also going to keep track of what happens when I do consume them. This is a pretty novel idea for me. It's like having an allergy to certain kinds of food. And if that is one of the things that causes me to experience melancholy and/or unreasonable anger, then I can live with avoiding it. BIG REVELATION!

So I will leave you with that bit of information, and then simply postulate this: do you suppose my trainer had too many carbs this weekend? Can you say "dominatrix"? Ouch.

Crazy

Sometimes I wonder if I am out of my ever-lovin' mind. Seriously. I mean, here I am, 199 pounds, planning to run/walk/run a marathon in October. My bro is training by running. I am working with my trainer, walking, skating & swimming. But I decided to test the competitive waters and really push myself out of the comfort zone in which I live. How? I have signed up to participate in a triathlon.
Did you faint? Don't feel bad if you did. lol. The look that comes across the faces of people I tell this too is either one of genuine concern for my MENTAL health, or pure, unadulterated incredulity. Err . . . . you whaaaattttt???

It's okay folks. I am not as ambitious as that. But I want to participate. So I enlisted the help of 2 teenagers -- a swimmer and a cycler -- to do this as a relay. So my swimmer will have to finish 24 laps in an olympic sized pool (yuk!). My cycler will have to pedal 13 miles of pavement (yuk!). And me, I have the easy part. I have to run 3 miles. I can handle running 3 miles. They think my part is the hardest. I don't agree. But that's why it will work.

Unfortunately, since our ages are 16, 16, and late 40ish, we cannot compete in a specific age group. But I'm not competing to win. I just want the t-shirt. And they seem to be okay with just getting in there and doing it for fun, so we're good.

Okay. So I'm needing to make sure I'm getting in a run every day. And you know me. I am a bit of a procrastinator. So pray for me. I don't have a lot of time! May 1st is only 6 weeks away and I'm pretty much still a big blob. Blob, blob, blob. But not for much longer. I've gotta move it!

With that said, I am going to go take a little snooze (did you think I was going to say take a walk? Hahaha). I will later. At the moment I've got a bit of a migraine. Going on two days and BOY does that get old! So I'll go for a little shut eye before I walk or run. Besides, I skated for an hour this morning. Skating helped take the edge off of my headache but didn't get rid of it. All that blood circulating and my heart pumping - I could only hope it would disappear. And tylenol, ibuprofen, and aleve have not produced relief either. Oh well. It could be a lot worse.

So I'm off. Have a wonderful day friends. Life is good.

Too Busy To Breathe

eSometimes I find myself with absolutely nothing to do. Bliss. It's bliss, really. Being able to go about your day as you choose, doing either nothing or going like gangbusters.

Well, I have been going like gangbusters for a week straight. So busy. And of course that translates into an excuse to eat poorly.

I was on retreat last week with all of the women in my family. Fabulously uplifting. Too bad it also means 12 women who like their food & wine. Add to that a full schedule, which means no exercise, and you end up with a ZERO weight loss week. Yep.

My weekend wasn't a whole lot better in terms of staying on track. Went to a work training all day yesterday. Didn't have lunch so I was starving by the end of the day. I managed to order a cobb salad at the restaurant for dinner (yum!), but couldn't resist a little taste of the onion rings that someone ordered as an appetizer. Boooo!

Today was off the to races again, and I didn't fit any exercise in again. I didn't get on the scale this morning, and I don't plan to tomorrow. I am afraid I'll be too depressed at the numbers. I work, work, work and seem to sabotage my efforts at the first sign of temptation.

On the other hand, I have put in a pretty sold few weeks of training and change of dietary habits. And again, the pants are baggy. So I feel like I just have to get back on the horse tomorrow morning and keep on going with what I've been doing.

Our trainer can't meet with us tomorrow, so we're going to start out with a nice hour-long walk at 8:30. Then I can maybe get in a little something at the gym too. We'll see. I'd prefer to skate, but the ice came out last week and I'm not sure there IS any. I plan to check after my walk. It's such a great workout, keeps my heart rate at a fat-burning level for a good 1/2 to an hour. I love it. And they'll take out the ice for a month or longer starting in mid-April, so I have to get it while I can.

Well I wanted to check in. I know it's been a while and I wanted you to know that I'm still here and still working at this. I AM going to win this battle. I refuse to let it beat me. I refuse to be a chubba chubba for the rest of my life. No way.

And with that little self-motivating spiel, I am off to bed. Sleep well and peacefully my friends. And I'll be back a little later in the week to give you my weight numbers . . . . (sigh). :)

Plateau-Plateau-Plateau-Plateau-Plateau-Plateau

Yes my friends, I have hit it. The brick wall. The dreaded "plateau" that everyone who has ever dieted inevitably runs into. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this term, its a sad little joke your body plays on you . . . er . . . aside from the one about getting fat to begin with . . . and it refuses to shed a single ounce regardless of how strictly you adhere to your diet and exercise regimen.

Today, once again, I am 199 pounds. I have been the same weight for over a week. Almost 2 actually. And for those of you who think I must be "cheating" or slacking off, let me assure you I haven't. My highest caloric intake over the past week was last Saturday night, and it was right at about 1800. The other days have been 1300 or less. And my exercise has been off the charts!!! Not kidding. I get in strength training and aerobic activity almost every day. Usually between 1 and 2 hours worth. This is in spite of the fact that my training partner is off in Mexico somewhere drinking pina coladas and enjoying long siestas. Happy for her, sad for me.

The sad story of the plateau is all over the internet if you run a search. And searching comes with the added plus of a bazillion suggestions on how to break the plateau. Change what you're eating, change your exercise routine, yadda yadda yadda.

I'm not trying to make excuses here but my exercise routine is already insanely diverse. I train with the resistance bands, I walk and/or run, I use the elliptical, I ice-skate and I swim. I simply cannot imagine anything MORE diverse. So it's got to be the diet.

I came across what I know many, many people do to avoid a plateau. It's called calorie cycling. The idea is to load your calories higher one day, then lower them the next. It's like tricking your body into believing you are getting plenty so that it doesn't go into overdrive and hang on to everything. Interesting concept. Too bad I'm now petrified to try it. I gain a pound or two with a simple glass of wine. How the expletive am I suppose to do this every other day, as they recommend??? I just can't see that it would work for me. I understand the idea is to keep your calories to a certain WEEKLY number. I just don't know if my body will cooperate. Ugh!!!! What to do, what to do???

Well, I haven't fully decided what I will do. My only other option is to try and cut out more carbs, but I don't love that idea because of my work outs. I think I need the protein/carb balance I have.

So. That's whatsahappenin' in my life today. Can't believe a week has gone by. I really want to be better about getting on more frequently. In the meantime, I could really, really use your prayers. I'm a little exasperated and while I'm not on the brink of giving up, I AM on the brink of eating a big fat donut. Lol. I am sick of 199. Sick of it.

Have a great day! God bless you real good.

Same Sweaty Story

Oh. My. Goodness. Who would have thought that a mat with a little cushion and three little tubey things with handles could be conductors for so much pain?

I have been to work out with my new trainer three times, and every single time I have poured sweat like it's raining indoors. We start with 15 -20 minutes of cardio. Once the heart rate is boosted we move on to resistance training. As usual, I am the only one in the room that looks like a heart attack is imminent. But I have discovered that I have a second little manifestation of how hard I am working: my breathing. Not kidding. I sound like I am giving birth. Whoo, hooo, hooo, hooo . . . you get what I'm saying here? Loud, unsettling and disruptive breathing. I mean, why me? Why can't I just get in there, perspire and turn a pretty blush color and get done? Noooooo! I turn scarlet red, pant and gasp like I'm in labor, and sweat buckets and buckets.

It's very attractive. Really. :)

After our workouts with the trainer we skate. Just about 1/2 hour or so. I love that part. It's literally the "cool down." Turns what was suppose to be an hour of exercise in the early morning to an entire 1/2 day of exercise but I don't care. I feel so blessed that I have the flexibility in my schedule and the time to fit this in that I can't complain for a second. Well, maybe I can for a second but only about how my muscles ache -- not about the process itself.

And my weight? BOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I am still the same as last week. Sick-en-ing! It may be that my body is readjusting, it may be making other changes since I am very, very 40's. Whatever it is, it's ticking me off. BUT! But, but, but . . . my jeans this weekend were really baggy through the butt and thighs. Really baggy. I think I might even be able to throw them in the dryer and still wear them again. Haha. So I'm sad about the numbers but happy about what is sure to turn out as a loss of inches.

I also have to say that I am really watching what I eat. I had a little too much bread on Saturday night when I went out to dinner, but my meal was broiled fish with no butter or oil. The rest of the weekend was pretty good. So it'll happen. I just need patience.

Okay folks, I am off to watch hockey. Have a fabulous evening. God love ya!

Another Trip From Twoderville

I know I've been here before. A year ago actually. I marched happily and proudly out of the 200's and into the 190's. Goodbye Twoderville. I honestly thought I'd never go back again, but I was wrong. I could lower my head and pout about this, but I'm not going to. That would be counter-productive. I am back on track and I am proud to be at that 199 mark again.

Working my tail off to get there, too. Started with my brand new trainer yesterday. I think I'm really going to like working with her. I am attaching a video here of her and a product that she developed (and we used). Don't be misled though. It's tough business using those things. I was sweating and shaking at a level you all would be proud of. Did I say sweating? Yea. I meant POURING water out of my pores. D and Natalie were poised and controlled. I looked like a big bag of cherry jello-o trying get control of my contours. Hehe. It was good though. It was good.

D and I left Nat's and went skating for a 1/2. That was great too. Then onward for a veggie omelet. Today it was 45 minutes of skating. After that I went swimming for 40 minutes. That's twice this week! I am on target folks. On target for 2 pounds a week. 15 weeks = 30 pounds = 170 by June 1st. That would be positively grand!

The other side to this, of course, is that I need to get into a walking/running/marathon training groove. I have decided that I can take February to get in the habit of regular exercise and good eating. Then I'll try to get into a more regular walking / running program. That's the plan anyway.

Okay. That's today's wonderful report. Glad you could join me to hear it. You all have a good evening, and I'll be back soon! :) Here's the video I promised!

The Way God Answers Prayers

It's always been difficult for me to understand why God can't show me His presence in a more concrete way. For years I felt like he was playing peek-a-boo. What I learned after a lot, lot of years is to recognize his voice. Pray enough and you get used to being able to discern whether you're hearing your own voice in your head or whether you're hearing what God has to say. So too, you recognize God's hand in almost every single situation you face. And when it comes to humor, God will not be outdone.

For example, I have been praying pretty intensely since the summer ended for the strength to pick up my guns and win this weight battle. I have a running list of petitions that I keep reminding Him need His attention, and this is one of them. And He has answered this particular petition in a way that I have come to recognize from him - with ironic humor. "Ok, ok" He's says as puts the idea in my brother's head to run a marathon AND to ask me to do it with him. Then He orchestrates a new trainer for me. My friend D and I start next Wednesday. Three times a week.

Now I am starting to get a little nervous.

But then comes the icing on God's sweet surprise. It turns out someone from my past is one of the owners of an EXTREME gym called API. See that little skull and crossbones there? That's their logo. Apparently the trainers are . . . scary tough. My friend is an owner and I trainer. He sent me a message saying he heard I could use a little boost and wants to help. I have to track all of my meals and eating for a week and send it to him. He's going to design a program for me. And when I get to his neck of the woods, he'll be having me come into their facility to kick my butt. Hopefully my training now will prepare me for THAT. Someone told me they have big orange buckets in their gym so people have a place to throw up. YIKES!!!!!!!

All of these worries will make my hair fall out. I'll have the butt of an 18 year old boy and the scalp of a 60 year old man. What a trade-off. Hahaha. All the while, my good friend Jesus is smiling. He's giving me what I asked for. And once again, I am reminded of the value identifying what I am asking for in a very specific way. We all know the adage: "Be careful what you pray for, you just might get it." There's a reason such advice exists. I'm proof.

So I will keep you updated. It's going to be a ride and I'm already white-knucked!!!! In the meantime, I stayed in a weight-hold over the weekend. A good thing. I even avoided the GREAT treats the little people in my world made over the weekend (pictured here). Woot!

A belated Happy Valentines to you all. And if someone out there doesn't love you, c'mon around here. I do.

♥

See Jane Run

Some of my days are definitely scarier than others. Take last Monday, for instance. I got an email from my youngest brother that simply said:

Twin Cities Marathon October 3. I'm in. Are you?

Talking about stopping dead in your tracks. I stared at the screen. Holy cow! Am I in?????

Running a marathon has always been a dream of mine. Not sure why, but it's always been something I wanted to do. The problem is that I am a big, big person right now. On top of that, I am completely out of shape. A marathon is a daunting endeavor for young people who are in the best shape of their lives. But a middle-aged fat lady? Hmmm . . . .

I started to do a little research. I know from friends who have undertaken this mighty feat that if you don't finish the race you don't get a t-shirt. And you don't technically finish unless you cross the finish line in under 6 hours. Is this even possible for me?

I registered for the race, posting my non-refundable $100.00 last Friday. I did it because I know several things for sure:

- I have 7 months to train
- If I can walk or run every mile in 13.55 minutes or less, I can finish in under 6 hours.
- I want a t-shirt.

So there it is. Insanity in its fullest measure folks. A goal that seems infinitely unattainable as I sit here and type out this post, but completely do-able if I set my mind to it and get going. And that's what I intend to do. My mother has said I need someone to push me. I have put in an SOS to my big dog friend who walks with me. We are going to visit a trainer. And now I'm scared. :)

Still fighting the good fight daily. Getting lost . . . I mean LOTS of exercise. Loving my treadmill, although the weekend was busy enough to keep me from it.

That's the good word from God's country, where the whole of civilization has been shut down due to snow. Love days like that. God love you all and keep you safe and healthy and motivated to do your own thing.

LOST

I am not sure all of you remember, but at the beginning of the summer my treadmill died. I thought it was a pretty good one. I didn't pay a lot for it but it did the job. Then out of the blue, nothing. The motor simply stopped. The lights didn't light. Dead.

I had someone come and look at it and he told me it was toast. Done. Finito. But I didn't really mind because it was the middle of the summer and all my exercise was happening outdoors anyway. So it was sayonara.

Fast forward to autumn. Again, didn't really care about the treadmill because I kept telling myself I was going to get to the gym, go to spin class, blah, blah, blah. And of course I went once, maybe twice and that was it. All the while my weight was creeping up and terrible eating habits creeping back in. Christmas hit, and I knew I had to get serious. But I didn't.

By mid-January, I was just about at the point where I couldn't stand it anymore. So I bit the bullet and bought a new treadmill. I have in the house instead of the garage, in a conspicuous place that's an eyesore, but I don't care. I have to get going.

So I got on it, and was bored, bored, bored. My brother told me he watches a movie when walks, so I decided that was the ticket for me as well. I started searching for some movies and came across a television show that one of my hockey player - adopted-type sons absolutely loved: LOST. I called him and asked him if it was a show that an old lady like me would like. Affirmative. So I got the first season (which he recommended so I have lots to watch and so I would know what's going on). I watched the first two pilot episodes, plus one more. That's all it took. Three times to create an addiction.

So . . . I decided that since I like it so much, I would only allow myself to watch it when I am on the treadmill. A good idea, since I couldn't wait to see the next episode. So back on I went. And again. I moved a TV up and in front of the treadmill because the volume on my MAC isn't loud enough to be heard over the sound of the treadmill. Perfect. I am so excited. It's perfect. And once again I'm walking to Vegas folks. Walking to Vegas.

I should add that I got back on the ice yesterday in spite of my injury. Still can't stop well, but the work out is great. I also got in a 40 minute swim. So today my weight was already down to a dead-on 200. Woot!!!!!

So I am off to lead my busy life. I'll be back over the weekend. Peace out.

Back from the Dead

That's what it feels like, anyway.

It's been a long, hard 6 months. My busy summer and unusual schedule of traveling and activity put choices on my shoulders that even the prior 6 months of diet and exercise didn't prepare me to handle. And is seems once the momentum was lost, so was I and so was the battle.

I have tried to start again, over and over. I have been back to the "grind" of it every Monday since September. But I couldn't seem to get back into it. The comments from my last post were a big help, and actually right on. But I still couldn't manage to find the "groove."

So. Here I am. Back at it again. One of my followers started a similar blog recently. That motivated me. But . . . the REAL motivation is some traveling I have to do again in the spring. I have a wedding and a birthday party. I don't want to be a pudge-mo when I go. I don't. So I am back to the grind people. Back to the grind.

Today I went to the rink to skate. I have done that a few times in the last couple of weeks. I just need to make a habit of it. So there I was, skating along, burning those calories. Then we decided to change direction. I tried to stop too fast. Now let me just jog your memory here and remind you that I am Dorothy Hamel. :) OH!!! And I traded in my figure skates with a toe pick for hockey skates with no visible means of braking power. I love the skates. Really. No more blisters. But when I tried to stop and turn today, I spun in a circle. The next thing I knew: WHAM! The sound of my cheek smacking the ice. Wow. It really, really hurt. And now I have the most beautiful shiner you've ever seen on a woman. I honestly think I rearranged my teeth I hit so hard. Lots of ibuprofen for me in the next couple of days. Ouch.

So, my first day back to a serious, goal-inspired program I become a casualty. C'est la vie. It's part of the story I guess.

Alright. Baby steps. That's what I'm taking. And just so you know, the damage is pretty severe from the past few months. I am at a whopping 202. I hope, hope, hope to be down 35 pounds by mid-May. That's the plan. Hope. Pray. Excercise.

I'm off to run a quick errand before I lay my head down tonight. Sleep tight all. I've missed you.