Friday, July 8, 2011

184

I know, I know. You thought I fell off the face of the earth. I am sorry, sorry, sorry. I didn't. I am still here and still going strong. Well, pretty strong. I have a JC weigh in tomorrow, but got on my scale in my bathroom -- yikes! --- this morning. I was a dead-on 184. Assuming I have a good day today, that puts me at about 185.5 tomorrow at JC. Woot, woot!!!

My summer has been busy, busy, busy! I am STILL NOT working out regularly, and I need to do that if I want the weight to peel off more quickly. But for just a little yet, I'll keep up with what I'm doing. I'll deal with flabby underarms and jiggly thighs another day. For today, I leave you with a great little prayer my mom sent me today.

Lord, my soul is ripped with riot
incited by my wicked diet.

"We Are What We Eat," said a wise old man!
Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can.
To rise on Judgment Day, it's plain!
With my present weight, I'll need a crane.

So grant me strength, that I may not fall
into the clutches of cholesterol.
May my flesh with carrot-curls be dated,
that my soul may be poly unsaturated.

And show me the light, that I may bear witness
to the President's Council on Physical Fitness.
And at oleo margarine I'll never mutter,
for the road to Hell is spread with butter.

And cream is cursed; and cake is awful;
and Satan is hiding in every waffle.
Mephistopheles lurks in provolone;
the Devil is in each slice of baloney.

Beelzebub is a chocolate drop,
and Lucifer is a lollipop.
Give me this day my daily slice
Cut it thin and toast it twice.

I beg upon my dimpled knees,
deliver me from jujube's.
And when my days of trial are done,
and my war with malted milk is won.

Let me stand at the Heavenly gate,
In a shining robe, Lord – wearing size 8..
I can do it Lord, if you'll show to me,
the virtues of lettuce and celery.

Teach me the evil of mayonnaise,
and of pasta a la Milanese...
and crisp-fried chicken from the South.
Lord, if you love me, shut my mouth. Amen

Have a fantastic weekend my friends! God Bless!

1 comment:

  1. Welcome back! And awesome work! 184! I am jealous, lol!

    ReplyDelete