I am so, so, soooo tired. Last week was pretty drama-filled, and I had hoped it was over. But alas, it begins again. I know life is cyclical. Ups, downs, circles. And I am obviously on a low cycle. The kind where everything goes wrong. Not a Murphy's law kind of wrong. I'm talking about the stressful stuff that you can't control, or fix. The same stuff that makes every carb you eat go straight to your rear-end or hips and stick there. The kind that keeps the weight from coming off. The kind that makes you rationalize that the bread and chocolate you're stuffing into your mouth are healthy. Yep. That kind.
Interesting how stress can sabotage weight loss. I don't know exactly how it works with hormones in the body. I just know it makes a difference. And here's the answer: I have to either get rid of the stress altogether, or try and work off the stress through exercise. Since the former is not possible, the latter has to be my course of action. And I've been doing okay with that.
I walked 5 1/2 miles on Friday and swam Friday night. I walked 3 miles on the bike trail Saturday morning, then another 2 through the course of the day. Yesterday was my day of rest, and I needed it because my left knee has been giving me a little trouble. Today I got in another 6 miles. Yay for me! Awesome, right? WRONG!!! My body clung to weight over the weekend. I ate a little too much I suppose. I split a burger and had some nachos on Saturday night. And Sunday I probably had a few too many pretzels. I just don't believe it was enough to make me GAIN. And that's exactly what happened. I gained a pound.
I am sure you can imagine the scene in my bathroom this morning. Get on the scale. Get off. No way. Get on. And then slowly a blood-curdling scream forms in the pit of my stomach, makes its way slowly up my windpipe and hurls out from the back of my throat. Arrgggghhhhh!!!!!!!! I'm in the 90's again!!!!!! Okay. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. And then . . . I had to get my head together.
I spent the whole day telling myself it would be okay. My head says one thing, my emotions another. And I'm tired. And I get pelted throughout the day with more stresses that I can't control. But here I am, at the end of the day, and I finally have some peace. Pick myself up by the bootstraps and keep on. Stick with it. Stay the course. And it's going to be fine. And thank God for the progress I have made so far. And pray that this time is just a blip. A weird sort of plateau. And I will keep praying. Praying for peace, for relief from the stressors, for strength to deal with them, and for continued success in losing weight. And if you happen to be saying prayers yourself, would you mind putting an extra one out there for me? I could use it.