Thursday, June 18, 2009

Sliding Backward

From the beginning, I have been determined not to slide backwards. I don't want this little "cartoon" to be me. And I don't want to stop dead in my tracks. I want to keep moving forward toward my goal.

My last month has been a constant and ongoing struggle to stay on track. I don't really understand why. I have a renewed hunger and a renewed lazy streak. I can't get myself motivated to get out and get exercise. I haven't done anything for a week. Bad, bad, bad.

I have to dig deep into myself and find the spark I had in January. Obviously being super-obese was a great motivator. But I am definitely not "thin" yet. Not by anyone's standards. I wish understood this "stall" in my program. I don't. I want to keep on. I just seem to be failing miserably right now. And until today I didn't have a plan to snap myself out of it. But I have given it a lot of thought. And I have decided to get to my basics again. Counting calories. I have to count calories. Exactly. Every day.

I have allowed myself 1200 calories each day since January 2. I guess around February I popped it up and gave myself up to 1350, but generally tried to shoot for 1200. I think it's time to drop that number. I need to shake myself up. And I need a change. So that's what it's going to be. I'm going to drop my calorie intake to 1000 daily. A little low, but my current inactivity calls for more drastic food measures. So that will be my new daily regimen.

I also need to get moving again. And tomorrow is a new day. A day for that. And I plan to.

A little depressing today. Sorry about that. It is what it is. Hopefully I will me more chipper as I begin to experience success and forward movement again. I haven't fallen too far off -- I'm at 181.6. But that's not acceptable. Not when I saw those 7's. And I will again. Soon. I can't stop now. I just can't.

I'm going to bed before I give in to temptation and eat. So nighty night. Peace to you all. And may the saints be with you too. . .


  1. Lisa,
    I am so proud of you - look at all you have lost. That is fantastic. You are an inspriation to everyone that knows you - your allowed a little set back or what ever! Don't be so tough on yourself. Tomorrow is a new day to start again.

  2. The main reason I am walking and biking each day right now is because I want to make it to Vegas with you, girl. So, get a move on. I refuse to go there alone.

  3. I'll be back when you get serious!

  4. I take exception to the anonymous person who said that they will be back when you get serious. What you have done so far is sooooo serious and the fact that you are playing up and down with 1-2 pounds is AWESOME. You are learning, in your losing process, what can change/effect weight gain and losses. So the simple fact that you are not losing at a rapid rate of 2 pounds a week right now is DEFINITELY OK. You continue to look forward to your losses and as far as I can tell you haven't thrown in the towel. CONRATS.