Falling Down the Rabbit Hole

That's the story for this week. You lose, you gain, you lose again. So, so, ridiculous. One little cake donut and my sugar levels go completely berserk! More sugar. More insanity. This weekend my body waged a full-out mutiny against anything healthy. I managed to get through part of Saturday pretty well, but then pretty much gave in to whatever junk food was around. And if you have been following my blog, you know that this isn't like me at all! My big splurges are too many Multigrain cheerios, or almonds, or maybe a little extra peanut butter on my rice cakes. But sugar, sugar, and more sugar -- that hasn't happened to me since last December.

The end result, of course, was a weight gain. My weight popped back up to 189.2 on Sunday morning!!! I was so ticked and disappointed in myself. I did what I could as far as damage control on Sunday, but was dealing with body-rebellion at every level. No exercise on Friday, Saturday OR Sunday. So I controlled my caloric intake and tried not to be too hard on myself over the mess-up

Obviously I couldn't let it the number go . . . so it was back on the scale bright and early this morning. And God is good. I had a better day today. I was back down. Not to 186.6, where I had been safely resting for the last week. But it was down. I was at 187.2. I'm 1/2 pound away from where I was last week, but I'm also completely back on track again today. I walked a LOT today - about 4 miles this morning and another 3 throughout the day. And my calories were at 1,196. I'm okay with that. I'll see how it looks tomorrow on the scale -- because we all know I'm not going to be able to stay off of that sucker :)

So I may have fallen down the rabbit hole with Alice over the weekend, but today I feel like I am in a much better place. Back on track, ready to go. Ready to shed another layer of fat. Yes, I am. It's gotta go. I won't stop until it does. One pound at a time. So there.

Sleep well my friends. I'm back at it tomorrow, and I'll report how it goes. God Bless!

Shake It Up Baby

I need it. A shake up, I mean. I am in a slump. I feel like I could use a jump-start or a jolt or something. Oh sure, I'm plugging along. My weight is stuck at 186.6. It's been there for days. Someone told me to try and cut back on carbs and focus more on other items, but I haven't had the gumption to get into that yet. Gumption. (What a funny word. I like it though.)

Anyway, my morning walking partner is in NY (lucky, lucky), so I've been slacking all week. I got in a great workout on Wednesday. Rigorous. Outside. Up and down hills, running and walking combined. Reeaaaallllly good. And that was the end of it. Other than cleaning out every single closet in my household -a huge task all in itself - I didn't get out and exercise. I got a lot done, no question, but not enough physical activity. No cardio for two days in a row. And I have NO motivation to get out there today, either. It's cold and windy and I don't relish the thought of it. To add insult to injury, my treadmill went kaput. Just died, or shorted, or quit or something. So odd. Same thing happened to my bro this week.

Anyway, it's not looking too good. I need something. Like Jillian Michaels or Bob Harper from the Biggest Loser. That'd would be awesome!!! I do want to try the Jillian Michaels workout. I heard it is great. I just don't know that I would actually do it once I had it here. Boo! But the saving grace is that my mom and sis are coming tomorrow. AND my friend comes back. She's a lot like my sister. A bit of a drill sargent. So I can get back on the horse on Monday. In the meantime, I just have to avoid those cake donuts on top of my fridge. lol. They look mighty good! And I really haven't craved sweet junk like that for a long time. So I'm a little surprised by this. Hmmm....

Alright, so I am going to hang out and read today. One of my favorite little hobbies. That or I'm going to head into town, hit confession and have a fresh new perspective tomorrow. Ahhh, motivation and vigor! Where hast thou gone? :) I'll be back tomorrow or Monday! Have a spectacular day.

A Trip Down Memory Lane

I'm not talking about reminiscing. No, no, no. I mean I literally tripped down memory lane. I completely forgot to give you the other part of my weight loss news when I reported that I had hit 186.6. DUH!!!!

Okay, so here it is: not only did I hit that beautiful number (which I have stayed at, by the way), but when I went to my weight loss challenge I was down another 2 1/4 inches. Since the middle of January, that brings the inches I have lost to a grand total of 38! Thirty eight. THIRTY 8! Off of my chest, stomach, hips, thighs and upper arms. Incredible. That's the circumference of another whole person! Oh my goodness. Yay me!!!!!!

I used to think that I could set all sorts of goals for my weight loss. You know - 10 pounds in a month, or 2 or 3 pounds in a week. As I continue my journey today, my goal is 1 pound. That's what I want to see on the scale when I get on -- that I've lost one pound. I don't look for 2 or 3 or 5. I look for just that single one. Oh yea, I definitely want to lose a specific number of "ones" over a period of time. I want to lose another 40 pounds. But my GOAL is to lose one. And then another one. And then another one. Until I reach a number I am comfortable with.

I know that it's a better idea to focus on measurements, but I can say with 100% certainty that my measurements won't be anything to write about until my scale numbers are lower. That's just how I'm built. Some people fit into a size 14 at 185 pounds. I'm in a 16. I won't be in a 12 until I'm at least 163-64. A little depressing, but c'est la vie. It is what it is. And I can deal with that. I knew that when I started. Okay well I forgot that fact for a minute, but my struggle with those doggone 18's was a quick reminder.

So tomorrow is another day. Another beginning. Another chance to drop a pound. And I'm up for the challenge. I'm in the groove. I've got my mind made up. Vroom, vroooommm! :)

So there's the other piece. Sorry about the brain fade. My body parts take turns experiencing fatigue. lol. I'm off to bed. The three hour Biggest Loser finale was exhausting. :) God bless you all. Sleep tight.

Weekend Madness

Seriously. Weekends are the pits when it comes to staying on track. And this one was no different. I ate too much bread- even if it was whole grain. And yesterday, Mother's Day, I skipped going out for Mexican. Instead I had . . . da, da, da, daaaaa. . . . 6 . . . yes 6 Oreo cookies. Had a glass of 2% milk to go with it. The caloric equivalent of a meal. 6 x 56 + 120 = Mmmm, mmmm good! (Did you really expect me to say "yuk"?). The downside, of course, was that I knew with all certainty that I was going to be up a pound today, so I stayed off the scale. That act all by itself is a miracle. lol. Haha.

So I got my little binge out of the way and got right back on the horse today. I definitely made up for my weekend infidelity in both exercise and eating. Walked almost 6 miles this morning, then another 3 1/2 through the course of the day. Sorted mounds and mounds of laundry and got 1/2 way through getting that washed and dried. Then I dug into a couple of other back-burner projects. All in all I'd say I burned quite a few calories. And my Lose It program on my iphone allots 89 calories to every 30 minutes of house cleaning. Who knew???

My food included two protein shakes as my meal substitutes. I should note here that I rarely skip regular meals for shakes. Normally my shakes are my snacks. But ridiculous binging calls for ridiculous measures -- at least for the day, anyway. Besides, the shakes are super-filling and oh, so tasty. The first, which I had at the shake shop, was sinfully good. White chocolate raspberry. 200 calories, 24 grams of protein, utterly fabulous. I made another one at home later. A chocolate one with extra protein (bringing the total to 34 grams). Added a banana and some strawberries to make it taste like a banana split. 300 calories. Oh yea. Life isn't bad on chubby train after all! Hah!

And can I just share with you that I COMPLETELY splurged while shopping last Friday? I did. I bought a new blender. I know you thought I was going to say shoes or something, right? Well, my blender burned out. A $30.00 job that wasn't meant for twice-daily use. So I got a new one. Over the top. A $150.00 Kitchen-Aid that was on sale for $119.00. I felt guilty, guilty, guilty. And then I made my first shake with it. Smmooooooth. Sooooo worth it! Bye-bye guilt. :)

As for the shoes . . . well, for right now I have to settle for the walking shoes I just bought. No choice. My feet shrunk. A 1/2 size. How weird is that??? I mean, were my feet these big pink puffy things or what? Must have been to some degree, because my size 9'ers were suddenly way too big. I'm down to and 8 1/2. Not sure if that's going to keep shrinking, so I won't be parting with my cash for new stilettos anytime soon. Besides, those spike heels canNOT handle my 186 pounds. Those suckers are meant for girly girls who wear a size 6 and have some measure of balance. Yes they are. Yes, they are. Okay - in MY world they are. Remember, I live out in the country; not in a big metropolitan area where "anything goes." Out here, I'd look like Dressed-Up Bessie, headin' off to the VFW for karaoke night. Hahaha. Okay well maybe not THAT bad, but it might be a little scary to see just yet. I'll keep you updated. :)

Alright folks, I need to keep folding all that laundry or it's going to need ironing (and forget that!). You all have a wonderful evening. Peace and Blessings.

P.S. This could easily be my "before" picture. Don't ya love it???

186.6

Woop, woop, woop!!! I have hit a magic number in my weight loss world. I would love to say "there are no words" but we aaaall know I'm far too long-winded for that. Haha! This was a big day for me today. I have kept my calories at a steady 1300 or less, and I've kept up with my exercise, so I had hoped to see my number go down, but seeing a 186 at the front end was over the top for me. And from my perspective, this is the direct result of your prayers. I am completely and utterly convinced of it. Wow.

I have not weighed in at the 186 mark for almost three years. Doesn't seem like that long ago, but it felt like an eternity. When your life shuts down, when you stop going out, when you don't want anyone to see you, ever, life can feel pretty slow and miserable. But the sun has come out, my friends. And let me add here that I am sooooo grateful for your amazing comments and your prayers. I could never articulate how much they mean to me. So thank you. Thank you, thank you!

And tomorrow is another new day. Still struggling a bit with the knee. I'm not sure what that's all about, but that's okay. I bought a brace, load up on the ibuprofen, ice it at night and that seems to keep me on track. I am averaging about 6 miles of walking each day. Of that amount, at least 4 are in "exercise" mode - an hour or so that I get in a walk that's quick enough to be considered "cardio." This morning brought back fond memories of my first few trips to the gym. I was sweating like a pig, and my face was as red as a beet. It's been a while since I've sweated like that. Even the back of my hands were wet!! Good gravy! It was a little unsettling. But I figure I am sweating out all sorts of horrible toxins, so it's just fine. Yes indeedy. :)

Well I'm headed into the weekend and I am in a much better place emotionally than I was a week ago. A few little lemondrops this week, and I sooo needed them. I always say that if God gave out treats, they'd be lemon drops. Sweet and sour, small, but strong and long-lasting. My weight this morning was like a whole handful of lemon drops. And praise God for that!

So. There it is. The latest and greatest. Well there's one more little . . . well okay big thing . . . but I think I will save that for tomorrow. :) Sleep well my friends. And God Bless.

Dang!

I am so, so, soooo tired. Last week was pretty drama-filled, and I had hoped it was over. But alas, it begins again. I know life is cyclical. Ups, downs, circles. And I am obviously on a low cycle. The kind where everything goes wrong. Not a Murphy's law kind of wrong. I'm talking about the stressful stuff that you can't control, or fix. The same stuff that makes every carb you eat go straight to your rear-end or hips and stick there. The kind that keeps the weight from coming off. The kind that makes you rationalize that the bread and chocolate you're stuffing into your mouth are healthy. Yep. That kind.

Interesting how stress can sabotage weight loss. I don't know exactly how it works with hormones in the body. I just know it makes a difference. And here's the answer: I have to either get rid of the stress altogether, or try and work off the stress through exercise. Since the former is not possible, the latter has to be my course of action. And I've been doing okay with that.

I walked 5 1/2 miles on Friday and swam Friday night. I walked 3 miles on the bike trail Saturday morning, then another 2 through the course of the day. Yesterday was my day of rest, and I needed it because my left knee has been giving me a little trouble. Today I got in another 6 miles. Yay for me! Awesome, right? WRONG!!! My body clung to weight over the weekend. I ate a little too much I suppose. I split a burger and had some nachos on Saturday night. And Sunday I probably had a few too many pretzels. I just don't believe it was enough to make me GAIN. And that's exactly what happened. I gained a pound.

I am sure you can imagine the scene in my bathroom this morning. Get on the scale. Get off. No way. Get on. And then slowly a blood-curdling scream forms in the pit of my stomach, makes its way slowly up my windpipe and hurls out from the back of my throat. Arrgggghhhhh!!!!!!!! I'm in the 90's again!!!!!! Okay. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. And then . . . I had to get my head together.

I spent the whole day telling myself it would be okay. My head says one thing, my emotions another. And I'm tired. And I get pelted throughout the day with more stresses that I can't control. But here I am, at the end of the day, and I finally have some peace. Pick myself up by the bootstraps and keep on. Stick with it. Stay the course. And it's going to be fine. And thank God for the progress I have made so far. And pray that this time is just a blip. A weird sort of plateau. And I will keep praying. Praying for peace, for relief from the stressors, for strength to deal with them, and for continued success in losing weight. And if you happen to be saying prayers yourself, would you mind putting an extra one out there for me? I could use it.

Peace.

189.2

Dang, I LOVE a good number on the scale in the morning! Oh sure, I wish it had come a week sooner, but it's May 1st and I am below 190. Yahoo! I am thrilled. And I can't wait to keep backing down.

Interesting how certain numbers stick in my mind from when I was gaining weight. 167 and 186 are two big ones. After that it's 204, 211, and then . . . well, you get the picture. So 186 is a huge milestone. It seems to me that I was at that number for quite a while. It also seems to me that I went from 167 to 186 within four months. Pretty scary. And for whatever reason, I feel as though my weight loss will suddenly take on a new level of legitimacy when I get below that number. Silly, I know.

You know what else? I am pretty patient for the most part, but I wish, I wish, I wish the weight would come off sooner. I realize it's coming off pretty fast -- 35 pounds in 4 months. But part of me wants to fast forward to July and be another 20 pounds lighter. I have to really "busta move" to do it, but I want to shoot for 10 pounds of loss in May and 10 pounds in June. I'm going to have to kick it into high gear to do this, but I honestly think it's possible. And I may not be able to wear a bikini like Valeri Bertinelli or the two lovely ladies shown here, but that's never been my goal anyway. I just want to be in a lower range. Hah! Don't we all? :) In the meantime . . .

I walk, walk, walked this morning. 5 miles. I got in a total of 8 miles total today. Then I swam for an hour. Add to that my spectacular less than 1300 calorie day and I am sitting pretty. WITH my legs crossed, I might add. A definite perk when you come from a weight that makes crossing your legs practically impossible.

Tomorrow is suppose to be nice. I am so anxious to get on my bike I can hardly stand it. So maybe this weekend. Walking for sure, maybe a swim too. So if I can keep my eating under control then I am right as rain. Yes I am. Right as rain. Whatever that means. lol.

Well that's my story today gang. Hope you are all skinnier on this lovely Friday than you were a week ago. Hang in there with me. We're getting there. And have a great weekend.